Here it is...this is my truth.

To tell you the truth, this isn't what I wanted. Not really. I didn't want or expect my marriage to end, but it did, just the same. Then again, I don't think anyone grows up wanting to be divorced someday, and yet, here we are. And I know I'm not the only one, sorting through the pieces of a life "after." "After" the marriage. "After..." A life that's just not quite the same.

Sheryl Sandberg, in a moving post on Facebook after the sudden loss of her husband Dave, described her life "after" as her "Option B." I can't describe just how much her words resonated with me. I loved how honest and vulnerable she was when she described how this wasn't what she wanted, and yet she was going to "kick the shit out of her Option B". It is not the same, losing a spouse to death as it is to divorce, and yet...I would argue the emotional loss can be just as devastating and the repurcussions incredibly similar. I know that her words resonated with me and the concept of finding and kicking the shit out of my "Plan B" (as I like to call it) took form.

This is the reason I'm writing this now. Not because it's easy, or because I think I have the perfect guide to cope with the loss of one's marriage...but because, in my personal experience, I have been so blessed when I have had someone share from a place of true vulnerability in their journey, and I have only been blessed when I find the courage to share in turn.

I want to share what it has been to rediscover life and who I am in the "after" my marriage. I can't promise it's pretty or that I've arrived. (By no means am I saying that!) Because the truth is, it's messy, and it's been hard, and I am finding it's by no means a final destination. But...I can say that it has truly been such an enriching time in my life, and I have never felt more alive and happier than I do now. I can't expect anyone to see eye-to-eye with me on everything I write here, and I may say something you might find hard to hear. I know that, and yet...I must write them. I must share my truth; because in sharing my story, by being honest and vulnerable, I own my story. And I hope it's a story that gives someone hope, or maybe even courage to do something they need to do in their own life. I don't know your story but I hope that, just maybe, by sharing mine I can help someone else in theirs.

This is why I'm writing; this is why I'm sharing. I am so grateful in this moment for the people who have inspired me to get here; it has not been easy. Brené Brown, your words have, by far, been the biggest inspiration in my life. What I have learned about vulnerability from you has truly changed my life, and for the better. For that, and for every single person who has inspired me to finally write my story, "Thank you".

All my love and heart,

Sabrina Michele