My Brain Hates Me
"I think that’s the real reason I’m still alone—not for lack of meeting people, or lack of trying, but because the kind of real connection I am looking for is so rare. I know that one day I will find it...but for now I swallow down the fear, and I hold myself tight in the middle of the night, until sleep finally comes."
Learning how to say Goodbye
“I am learning how to say goodbye. Not necessarily because I want to, but because I know I have to. I know that I have to put me first now, and that it means letting go of these people—from my life, from my thoughts. …It may not be overnight, but a day at a time, I am giving myself back to me…”
A is for Acceptance
"Acceptance. It is the only answer I have found that gives me any comfort whatsoever—in life, in relationships—acceptance of what has happened, and that there is nothing we can do to change it. The promotion or raise we didn’t get; the invitation we were expecting which never comes; the call or text you were hoping he would make, but you never receive; the man you fall in love with, who will never love you back. Acceptance. Even when it breaks your heart, accepting that this is the hand life has dealt you in this moment."
G is for Great Expectations
"Up until now, all of these expectations I have been describing are completely normal and a part of everyday life. What I have been struggling with lately is when does having expectations become a bad thing? When does having expectations ultimately hurt you?"
Owning Our Stories
"When I read that yesterday, I knew...I knew that I had to live with the words I had written. I wrote them, I meant them, and I published them to tell my story; even as painful as that was, I needed to do just that. …I am here, and I am ready to own this story. And not just the good parts, but the whole thing.”
B is for Birthdays
"Birthdays were my favorite growing up. Right in the middle of the summer, I remember feeling lucky; I never had to go to school on my birthday, and since summer was my favorite season, I loved that my birthday fell when it did. I suppose we all have fond memories of summer break growing up, but I remember my birthday being particularly special. I know that’s one of the reasons why I have kept a fondness for my birthday, all these years later, when it seems so many of my generation would prefer to have little to no fanfare, or wish they could skip the whole birthday bit entirely. Not me. grins I know, for me, birthdays will always be a big deal."
G is for Getting Comfortable Being Alone
"I say it’s hard writing about this because, the truth is—I struggle. I struggle with knowing I am making the right decisions. I struggle with relationships and dating. I struggle with letting people go. And I seriously struggle with being alone, just me. No boyfriend, no potentials, no one I’m even talking to, nada. So this post is about a current struggle for me. G is for “Getting comfortable being alone.”"
H is for Hurt
“Hurt. Heartbreak. Heal. I wish it were that easy. As easy as taking a misstep and falling down; granted, it hurts (sometimes like hell), but you can get back up, brush yourself off, and move on. Sometimes, when it comes to matters of the heart, however, it’s just not that easy. It may be that simple, but it is never seemingly that simple or ever easy. At least not for me…”