Coming Back Up for Air
“…the reason is because I didn’t know how to. All I knew how to do was feel—all the raw emotions, hoping that at one point it would stop or I would have someone (new) to help me forget the hurt and pain the last person caused me. I think it’s only now, in the absence of chaos and distractions, that I’ve been forced to face it: the grieving of a relationship. And processing all of it—the good, the bad, what you need to take away from it, and what you need to truly, finally, let that person go, for good.”
The “In-between” Space
“All that said, this is still hard. And it takes a toll as I am, “wired for belonging and connection,” to quote Brené Brown. I still long for connection and love, so I am grieving someone, or the “what could have been” with this person. And as small as that is in the grand scheme, it feels like the moment I needed to finally share some of the things that have been weighing on my heart lately. “
Diary: My Christmas Card
"I rarely post when I don’t have something positive to post about, or unless I’m in a really positive place. Tonight I’m sharing, despite all of that.
There are so many pretty posts, so many picture perfect Christmas cards, and I’m not knocking you if you shared one, but this is just not one of those. This picture is of me, after an entire Thanksgiving spent alone."
Diary: Paris
"One year ago today I was on a plane headed to Paris. I had just come back from another trip. One day separating such vastly different men and different experiences. To succinctly put it, one man I was hoping to fall in love with, and another who was falling in love with me."
Diary: On to the next (adventure)
Paris for One
"I feel like I have already been on this journey of self-discovery for the past three and a half years, but going to Paris? It felt like the last missing puzzle piece I have been looking for and didn’t even know that I was missing. The journey has been a long one, but the most important and rewarding of my life. It’s been my journey to truly find me—just me—outside of anyone else..."
Love is a Four-Letter Word
"Somehow, in loving me, I found that I could love again. I hope that someday, when the timing is right, I will meet someone who is ready, and who’s heart is open to receive this love; but, until then, I am happy and content knowing that I have found everything I need, right here."
B is for the Broken Ones
“I believe that in the mending we are left with cracks. A place on our hearts where we are left forever altered. Something about that person: a look, an expression, a memory that you’ll never be able to forget.
…Your cracks, or your scars, they are what make you infinitely more beautiful. You have lived and you have tried. Do not be ashamed of your scars. But don’t allow their existence to keep you from moving on—from living, either.“
G is for Getting Comfortable Being Alone
"I say it’s hard writing about this because, the truth is—I struggle. I struggle with knowing I am making the right decisions. I struggle with relationships and dating. I struggle with letting people go. And I seriously struggle with being alone, just me. No boyfriend, no potentials, no one I’m even talking to, nada. So this post is about a current struggle for me. G is for “Getting comfortable being alone.”"