Diary: How are we doing here?

People ask me how I am doing a lot these days, and I find it such a hard question to answer, honestly. How am I today? How am I in this moment? The truth is that it has been a lot of day-by-day, full of ups and downs, and some really hard shit.

I am reminded, in opening up to people about the hard stuff, how I only share the good things, the beautiful pictures, and, from the outside, how great/perfect it must seem. The truth is I am human, and this has not been perfect.

Friday afternoon I had a mini panic attack. It wasn’t pretty. It was real and it was awful. And I reached out to the humans I knew were safe, and who I knew could talk me through it.

I’m sharing this photo, and I’m sharing about this experience, because both are important to share. This photo was taken last year in Paris my first time there, just around the corner from where I was staying. It’s modern art, but it also seems so odd to me, much like life these days.

I’m proud to say this weekend got better, soo much better. I got the help I needed, and I put taking care of me first. I even wrote today. Finally. After so many months, I finally wrote. I’m excited to finally share that with you, but, for now, I wanted to share this.

Here’s to being real, to being vulnerable, and to being honest, even about the hard stuff (and maybe even especially about that stuff). Even if we’re social distancing right now, we are in this together.