Diary: Being sick and Paris
"I am still grateful, and I know that it will pass, but it’s also bringing up all the emotions that come with being sick and single. It feels like this photo to me: a solitary path where there’s no one else to help me get there—past it, through it—other than myself. ...It’s a painful reminder, especially when you’re brought to your lowest, that you are all you have."
2019: The Year of Love, Love Lost, and Paris
"I cried because the man I fell in love with was proposing to someone else. I cried because he was, in every single way, exactly what I wanted—at least in that moment of my life. And even though I can look back on us and see just how much he didn’t deserve the love I had for him, it is irrelevant to the simple fact that I did...love him. I loved him in a way that I have never known before...connected with him in a way I had never known before. I cried because this hurt me—seeing this, as it should. But it was also necessary. I knew this was the moment I had to let it all go."
Diary: Paris
"One year ago today I was on a plane headed to Paris. I had just come back from another trip. One day separating such vastly different men and different experiences. To succinctly put it, one man I was hoping to fall in love with, and another who was falling in love with me."
Diary: In the midst of COVID, there is still this
"It’s been five years. Five years since my ex-husband told me it was over and that he was leaving (for someone else).
I sometimes forget this story is new to some; I am personally so tired of this story that I forget that many don’t know it. I find this weekend is always a painful reminder of that story, but it’s also been a painful reminder of so many other endings since."
Diary: How are we doing here?
"People ask me how I am doing a lot these days, and I find it such a hard question to answer, honestly. How am I today? How am I in this moment? The truth is that it has been a lot of day-by-day, full of ups and downs, and some really hard shit."
Diary: 2019
"So much to look back on...While it is so easy to focus on how hard this past year has been, I have intentionally been trying to focus on the good, because there truly was so much good in 2019.
Paris for One
"I feel like I have already been on this journey of self-discovery for the past three and a half years, but going to Paris? It felt like the last missing puzzle piece I have been looking for and didn’t even know that I was missing. The journey has been a long one, but the most important and rewarding of my life. It’s been my journey to truly find me—just me—outside of anyone else..."