2019: The Year of Love, Love Lost, and Paris
"I cried because the man I fell in love with was proposing to someone else. I cried because he was, in every single way, exactly what I wanted—at least in that moment of my life. And even though I can look back on us and see just how much he didn’t deserve the love I had for him, it is irrelevant to the simple fact that I did...love him. I loved him in a way that I have never known before...connected with him in a way I had never known before. I cried because this hurt me—seeing this, as it should. But it was also necessary. I knew this was the moment I had to let it all go."
Diary: In the midst of COVID, there is still this
"It’s been five years. Five years since my ex-husband told me it was over and that he was leaving (for someone else).
I sometimes forget this story is new to some; I am personally so tired of this story that I forget that many don’t know it. I find this weekend is always a painful reminder of that story, but it’s also been a painful reminder of so many other endings since."
Diary: How are we doing here?
"People ask me how I am doing a lot these days, and I find it such a hard question to answer, honestly. How am I today? How am I in this moment? The truth is that it has been a lot of day-by-day, full of ups and downs, and some really hard shit."
G is for Great Expectations
"Up until now, all of these expectations I have been describing are completely normal and a part of everyday life. What I have been struggling with lately is when does having expectations become a bad thing? When does having expectations ultimately hurt you?"
R is for Real Talk about Real Life
“The truth is that between the Instagram stories, the adventures, the coffee shops…and the daily 9 to 5, there is a girl who is hurting. In all these spaces between, there is real life, and I want to be real about my struggle that exists there. So here’s to having a “real talk” about “real life.”
D is for Divorce
“So, I let him go...and it was the best thing I could have done for me. Am I saying it is the right thing for you, for everyone? No. Absolutely not. I don't know your situation, life story, or what’s right for you. …no one else really knows what goes on in a marriage save for those two people. It is also no one else's business… But, I can speak for mine; I can say this, unequivocally: we—existing as husband and wife—needed to end.”