Dear you,
"Life and love isn’t always, or ever, that black and white. And, maybe, instead…there is gray. I have found myself living in the gray—the unexpected, recently, and I don’t know how else to really speak to it. Other than to say, that life is never what you expect it to be. But it is here. Now, and now, and now. And while I may not have the life I, or others, ever expected, it is a fully lived life."
Diary: My Christmas Card
"I rarely post when I don’t have something positive to post about, or unless I’m in a really positive place. Tonight I’m sharing, despite all of that.
There are so many pretty posts, so many picture perfect Christmas cards, and I’m not knocking you if you shared one, but this is just not one of those. This picture is of me, after an entire Thanksgiving spent alone."
2019: The Year of Love, Love Lost, and Paris
"I cried because the man I fell in love with was proposing to someone else. I cried because he was, in every single way, exactly what I wanted—at least in that moment of my life. And even though I can look back on us and see just how much he didn’t deserve the love I had for him, it is irrelevant to the simple fact that I did...love him. I loved him in a way that I have never known before...connected with him in a way I had never known before. I cried because this hurt me—seeing this, as it should. But it was also necessary. I knew this was the moment I had to let it all go."
Diary: Paris
"One year ago today I was on a plane headed to Paris. I had just come back from another trip. One day separating such vastly different men and different experiences. To succinctly put it, one man I was hoping to fall in love with, and another who was falling in love with me."
Diary: I see you
"I want to take a moment to recognize every single woman who puts her heart out there: whether it’s for the first time, or for the 157th time, it took courage, heart, and vulnerability to face the possibility of love, at the risk of possible rejection. I hope you know, tonight, I see you. Your courage, heart, and vulnerability were echoed today in mine..."
Diary: On to the next (adventure)
Diary: 3 Months
“Hard to believe it’s only been three months, and yet so much has happened in that time. …
May 1st I had something amazing happen, and I even allowed myself to have hope. …I have hoped for something like this for so long...and it really felt like a dream, while it lasted.”
Ready to try again
"As much as I hated to admit it, there it was: when he spoke, I heard his voice. The man I fell in love with."
Love is a Four-Letter Word
"Somehow, in loving me, I found that I could love again. I hope that someday, when the timing is right, I will meet someone who is ready, and who’s heart is open to receive this love; but, until then, I am happy and content knowing that I have found everything I need, right here."
E is for Erasers
"I think it’s important to recognize that erasers aren’t perfect. Even the fancy kind I had in the fifth grade. There were always remnants left behind—faint, but the marks were still there if you looked closely. No amount of erasing could remove it all completely (believe me, I tried). I believe it’s the same exact concept with erasing people and relationships. I don’t care if you’re writing in pencil or in pen, there are going to be marks left behind."
F is for Falling
“The guy is supposed to get the girl. There may or not be a chase, but both of you know when you’re ready to stop running. …Your heart catches in your throat, and you stop seeing anyone else...because you only have eyes for them. You allow yourself to fall, because you feel absolutely sure in your heart...sure that you’ve found that person.”
B is for the Broken Ones
“I believe that in the mending we are left with cracks. A place on our hearts where we are left forever altered. Something about that person: a look, an expression, a memory that you’ll never be able to forget.
…Your cracks, or your scars, they are what make you infinitely more beautiful. You have lived and you have tried. Do not be ashamed of your scars. But don’t allow their existence to keep you from moving on—from living, either.“